In the last few weeks, I have been missing my Wing Man. For 5.5 years, Little Man was my partner in crime. We did everything together. While big brother was away at school and Daddy was working, it was just the two of us. I will freely admit that from the moment I became a full-time housewife, I dreamed of the day when both of my boys were in school. My sanity hung in the balance most of the time. I longed for adult interaction and interesting outings. Most activities centered around him. The park, the aquarium, indoor play, soccer class-you name it. Carving out time for myself was nearly impossible.
When Little Man was three we found Barre 3. The studio provided child care during the 1 hour workout. The workout out was amazing, I didn’t have to find a sitter, and it was a perfect outing. He loved it too. Usually bringing his own pack with snacks and a few toys. After class, we would walk to the nearby public library, jumping in puddles on the way. We would read a few books and spend time playing on the computer. I would drop him off at our local play center to eat lunch and play with friends- leaving me with a quiet afternoon alone. Tuesday and Thursdays quickly became our favorite days. It saved me in many ways.
I hadn’t been to Barre 3 in quite sometime, but returned just recently. I felt odd not having him with me. My boys are still not BIG in relative terms, but they certainly aren’t little anymore. I found myself thinking nostalgically of our time together. With enough distance, I now see how special and precious it really was! I used to roll my eyes and grimace every time a woman would say to me, “Oh, treasure this time. It goes by so fast.” The thought that popped into my head {other than punching the nice woman in the face} was, “How many hours until bedtime?” BUT now I get it. For those of you in the middle of the preschool years, I feel your pain. I am not going to be the obnoxious girl who tells you how wonderful your life is. I know that it is hard, unforgiving, and thankless most days.
But there are moments being written onto your heart that will be there forever. And a few years from now, you will be driving to workout and tear up. You will remember that little body in the back, chattering at you about cranes and semi-trucks. Your heart will be sick that the little hand that reached for yours is now holding onto handle bars riding to school on his own. Those darling, little rain boots are packed away in the garage as a keepsake.
So for now, I am holding onto him tightly when he will let me and reminding myself to enjoy him. I have learned that the stress and angst of every phase will fade and what is left is wonderful, sweet memories.
