When you write, whether for a living or as a hobby, it is saddening when the words don’t come. In the last few months I have started and not finished post after post. During the day I would think to myself, “Oh, that would be a great idea for a post.” Many days I didn’t have enough motivation to sit down and write. Some days I would get started and not follow through. The cycle was vicious.
I have written before about my self-diagnosed struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder {SAD}. While I still haven’t seen a professional about it, I am 100% convinced that each winter I am faced with the crushing reality of being depressed. It isn’t something that makes any sense. My family is wonderful. We are all healthy. We have everything we need and then some. From the outside it makes no sense to be sad. However, it is impossible to talk yourself into shaking it off. {Believe me, I have tried.} And while it is quite personal it is also quite real. This year was exceptionally bad. With a few extra concerns/battles piled onto my usual doldrums, this winter was unusually long and brutal.
The light is returning literally and metaphorically. I am seriously hard wired to the sun. I find joy in spending time with friends, loving on my boys, planning adventures, and laughing with my husband. After too many months of being sedentary, I begin the slow road back to being fit. I plan to write more consistently but in the spirit of being kind to myself, it won’t be everyday. While there isn’t immediate recovery, new things like acupuncture, yoga, and mediation are helping me fight my way back to happy.
I hope you are well. Thank you for reading and being supportive of my little corner.
