When you write, whether for a living or as a hobby, it is saddening when the words don’t come. In the last few months I have started and not finished post after post. During the day I would think to myself, “Oh, that would be a great idea for a post.” Many days I didn’t have enough motivation to sit down and write. Some days I would get started and not follow through. The cycle was vicious.
I have written before about my self-diagnosed struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder {SAD}. While I still haven’t seen a professional about it, I am 100% convinced that each winter I am faced with the crushing reality of being depressed. It isn’t something that makes any sense. My family is wonderful. We are all healthy. We have everything we need and then some. From the outside it makes no sense to be sad. However, it is impossible to talk yourself into shaking it off. {Believe me, I have tried.} And while it is quite personal it is also quite real. This year was exceptionally bad. With a few extra concerns/battles piled onto my usual doldrums, this winter was unusually long and brutal.
The light is returning literally and metaphorically. I am seriously hard wired to the sun. I find joy in spending time with friends, loving on my boys, planning adventures, and laughing with my husband. After too many months of being sedentary, I begin the slow road back to being fit. I plan to write more consistently but in the spirit of being kind to myself, it won’t be everyday. While there isn’t immediate recovery, new things like acupuncture, yoga, and mediation are helping me fight my way back to happy.
I hope you are well. Thank you for reading and being supportive of my little corner.
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Tags: It's me...Denise
Love you so much Denise. Thank-you for being so candid with your struggles and so generous to share them with us. You, my dear friend, are an inspiration. Keep doing whatever you need to do to give yourself the joy you so richly deserve. I’m always here and I’m a huge fan, ma’am.
All my love,
Pie
Thank you, Piper! I appreciate your love and support. xo-d
I’m with you. I struggled up to the point that I wanted to leave everything and go. Far far far away. Can’t do that, can I?…
Frequant short trips to sunny places help a bit. Friends. Busy schedule. Expensive bags (don’t really help-:). Time.
xoxo. a few short trips to sunny locations may be part of my plan next winter. I wanted to escape this winter too, but I wanted to take my family with me.
We can’t fully let ourselves bottom out because we have these little people we love and are depending on us. But I learned that they can survive with us too-:) Do it!
Thank you for sharing Denise! It truly is so much more than telling yourself to ‘snap out of it’ or ‘look at what you have’, everyone has struggles/challenges in life. It may sound silly – Have you tried a sunlamp? When you can’t get to the sun bring the sun to you…. they have worked wonders for some people I know.
Thanks Jodi. Yes, a sun lap is in my future come October! xo-denise