Oh, my crazy cats. They have made me a mother. However, in today’s modern world, there is a mania surrounding motherhood. It may be self-induced, but either way it does exist. Some days [or weeks] I feel it more than others. Recently, I have asked myself, “What do these boys really need?” They are fortunate to have food, shelter, safety, and love as part of their every day lives. Beyond that, what do they REALLY need? And maybe more crucial, “What do I do as a mother that truly means the most to them?”
I don’t have my final answers yet. What do you think? [Do you have older kids? What would they answer?]
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Tags: family, life with boys
Great question. I think it will vary greatly depending upon the family lifestyle, traditions, and life’s experiences.
Think about what you gleaned from growing up. What did you value? Have your sweet husband reflect back and see what pops into his head.
An important piece of advice….never try nor be a perfect parent. That seems to backfire, quickly, I might add. Set high expectations, but not unattainable; empower and not enable your babies; do not hold on tooooooo tight. The children are only on loan, while you will always be a valued part of their life, you are replaced. ;-( I know this feeling, only too well. As a mom of all boys, it is hard to let go and ThiNK that another woman can love and give as much as the person who bore this person. Yet….it happens.
Kids need to learn how to be independent, have great models in their lives, make many mistakes and learn from them, that’s practice….then know about keeping the trust level of parents by making good choices, first time and every time. Accountable and responsible for not so good choices.
Mutual respect, unconditional love, and opportunities to experience failure knowing the family won’t necessarily make things better but supporting the kid when these disappointments are character builders.
I think what I loved most was a soft place to land.
wow, Denise… thought provoking post today. I totally agree with your sweet, smart MIL…I think about what I truly needed from my parents.. I guess acceptance and support for when I screwed up.. knowing they would love me even when I didn’t love myself was crucial, especially in those teen years.
Thankfully, loving them is the easy part!
Knowing that my daughter has become a loving, accepting, forgiving, and tolerant mother tells me you are working hard at giving them a great foundation!
Thank you. xx denise
Kids need unconditional love, boundaries, the knowledge they are #1 in your household, yet part of a greater world where they need to cooperate and think of others, fun, and traditions.