Oh, how I long to hear Jeff Probst say those words to me right before an immunity challenge. Yes, I am a die hard Survivor fan. But my obsession goes beyond just loving to watch from my couch every Wednesday night. You see, I actually want to compete on Survivor. Always have and always will!
Some of you might find this a bit surprising. I am not a rough and tumble girl, nor do I live off the land (or even go camping). But I do love to compete. The reward and immunity challenges would be the best days on location for me. What I lack for in size, I make up for with heart. Put quite simply I do not give up.
I, unfortunately, am not cunning or deceitful. This poses a very large problem for me. As we all know, those who play with “integrity” are ousted, blindsided, or simply not given the million bucks. I would have to play the social game like nobodies business.
At the beginning of my quest to be on Survivor I thought I would be the first one voted off. Why? My explosive personality would not bode well when surrounded by strangers looking for someone to boot. However, these days I am fairly confident I would not be the first to go. I have a few more years under my belt (and a couple of kids) and I have been able to take charge of my darker side. At least I keep it fairly well hidden.
The one thing I still have no physical control over is my brow furrowing. I have two wrinkles to show for it. I may not utter a word, but my brows will say it all. There is a simple solution for that. Botox. While not altogether ready to take the leap into cosmetic procedures, Botox would be a Survivor necessity if I want to at least make it onto the jury. (And let’s be honest. If you don’t make it onto the jury, no one even remembers that you were on Survivor.)
Bug bites, annoying or disgusting people, rain, cold. These would all be HUGE obstacles for me to overcome. But, BUT….if I could- I might, possibly, be the soul survivor! (Or maybe at least the fan favorite?)
Survivor: South Pacific premiers tonight at 8pm on CBS.
You know where I will be!