Now That’s a Rock!

Well, isn’t she a lucky girl?  Kim K. received a 20.5 carat sparkler this week from someone.  (Don’t know who he is, but I am sure she does.  Right?)  Opinions are a-plenty on this subject!  Totally over the top.  Superficial!  Greedy.  Is that a “blood diamond”? I am Switzerland on this one.  Seems like a fairly stunning setting and actually doesn’t look ridiculous on her hand. However,  I do have a few words of advice for Miss Kim. 

Dear Kim,
Congratulations on your surprise engagement!  All of my best to you.  Your ring is spectacular.  I thought I might offer a little advice as you get accustomed to wearing it.  You will need to continue being the face of Skechers Shape ups, pimp your life out to E!, and host parties for 100’s of people you don’t know poolside in Vegas.  Why, you wonder?  You will forever need a domestic staff.   20.5 carat engagement rings and SOS pads are not friends. Housekeepers will be a necessity.  And if you are so blessed with child, in the near future, diaper blow outs will be a problem.  It is a real nuisance having to clean your setting once it is coated in poop.  (Don’t worry, it won’t be so bad when it is your baby!)  A nanny will be your first line of defense in keeping your ring pristine.

I am sure your financial future is rock solid.  No pun intended.  I would hate for you or any of the Kardashian family to fall on hard times.  Just in case you aren’t able to keep an army of help employed, I have attached a photo of a ring keeper.  A ring keeper is a lovely way to have that “one” place to keep your ring.  So-if you have to wash dishes, change diapers, bathe a baby, mop the floor, pick cheerios off the backseat floor, or any other mindless chore-you will know your “bling” is safe and sound.

Again, my most sincere congratulations!  Can’t wait to see the dress your stylist chooses and all of the fantastic ideas your wedding planner comes up with.
Yours truly,
denise thomas

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