behavior coach, snack manager, party planner

These are the titles that could been posted below my name if I sat at a cubicle!

I spent a LARGE portion of my day (and every day) coaching young boys on good behavior. I will spare you all the details because most of my strategies prove to inefficient! However, I only lost my cool once today. That was when I was forcing Will and Henry to shove down a McDonald’s Happy Meal in less than 10 minutes. Will put his straw in his juice upside down and then was surprised when the juice went every where. Henry’s banshee screams disrupted another customer’s conference call (which I will not even BEGIN to go into-since it is RIDICULOUS to think you have a right to be annoyed by a loud child when you are taking a business call in freakin’ McDonalds!!!! I digress!), so we departed without finishing lunch or getting a treat! Bummer for everyone!

If I am asked for snacks less than 5 times a day….that is a good day. Fruit and carbs….I would ask for snacks all day too! On a road trip, snack managing is a higher art form. You are traveling 75+ mph, steering with one hand, and reaching in the back to replenish dwindling snack supplies. Finding snacks that all can enjoy, without making a disgusting mess in the backseat, and can be self-fed by a two year old-this is a challenge! I injured my shoulder quite badly during our trip to California because I was sitting in the passenger seat and my left arm is not conditioned to reach into the backseat hundreds of times. This snack managements is serious business and is not for sissies! (I am serious about my arm being injured and how it happened!)

How do you knowingly plan a beach party for your child in June-when you are fairly certain it is going to rain? What am I thinking! I just ordered the “goodie” beach bags and beach balls from Oriental Trading company..no turning back now! I told Will his friends weren’t going to bring gifts and he said, “OK.” But, he had this look on his face that said…..”then why do I always spend time finding the perfect gift for all my friends and then sit and watch them open it?” I guess I should really tell him it is because mommy doesn’t want ANY MORE TOYS! Hmmmm….Is it horrible just to tell him that we are a kinder family and other people just aren’t as thoughtful? Don’t answer that!

What will my job titles be tomorrow?

One Response to “behavior coach, snack manager, party planner”

  1. merrilee says:

    Denise–you are HILARIOUS!! I especially love the part about your arm injury. . . I can fully relate. At times when Darin is in the car with us and I am driving, he will tell me to watch the road and be careful(little does he know that passing a snack to the backseat is just part of our daily routine).

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